I can no longer
see that shining light when I close my eyes,
see that shimmering being that pervades all things.
My sight is now limited
to what everybody else can also see,
to the mundane,
to the ordinary,
the material,
the world.
I no longer feel
that someone spilled a bucket of joy inside my heart,
that everything is bubbling with effervescent happiness.
Instead, I feel like the rest of you
moved by petty sorrows and pleasures,
moved by anger, perchance sometimes by hate.
Ambition and desire create great waves now
in my mind that was always so tranquil.
Lust, greed, the flesh
tempt me, taunt me.
On their heels follow rage,
Like street dogs biting at my clothes and pulling me down into the muck.
But I will not give in
to illusions covering truth with untruth.
For I know
suffering will follow.
The cycle must be broken.
No one else will, therefore I must.
In this posture may my body dry up,
Skin, bones, flesh and blood perish.
Until I see the light and wake from this dream
This mortal frame will not stir from this seat.